i feel like vyn shares some traits with haymitch in the "never get close to anyone/never love anyone with your heart" aspect

VYN BEING A MENTOR WODUK BE SO FUNNY

watever, no mor xuanyi rambling for now too busy reading on the internet... i'll come back when i have more ideas/opinions/retconning

reading haymitch pages knowing full well this is spoilers to sunrise of the reaping (a little 😒i know haymitch is a victor i read these novels too many times before)

well, not the sabotaging the games bit, since both xuan and vyn remained faithful to the bounds of the games... but like, you know. lovers dying, becoming.. that kind of person, almost cynical towards the world around them

i was gonna add "vyn becomes an alcoholic" and then i realized. haymitch. isn't this... just... haymitch

i think after xuan's death, vyn is grief stricken, no longer playing a facade as she wipes out every other competition; nothing else mattered. and when they announce her to be the victor, she isn't happy. this isn't her game, it's not her victory. it's her torment, the torment that she has to face knowing that despite remaining victorious, someone had to die for her to reach the top

it's off that he tells her this before sleeping, xuan doesn't usually do that. xuan tells her that he loves her in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening, but never at night. that's not his goodnight, her goodnight. he didn't cheerfully exlaim "night night," not even joking about bed bugs. but with so much going on, vyn decides to ignore this one sign, and she wakes up with her lover's cold arms around her

I think before he kills himself, when they're both awake. Xuan starts to have a more.... concerning edge to his voice. Something on the tone of finality, but vyn can't help why. She questions xuan about this, but he dismisses it, saying he probably felt off from eating. But before they (or in xuan's case, vyn.) Sleeps, xuan tells vyn that he loves her, which isn't unusual... but.

xuan coming up to vyn with the worst pick up lines while she's mid-training something like "hey are you a construction team, because you're Building." And then he runs off to go tell rosa what he just did

i think pregame, xuan admires vyn from afar at first but eventually works the courage to talk to her (in capitol + training sessions etc)

oh how I missed writing tragic and doomed xuanyi.... xuan gazing over vyn's sleeping body, his hands clutching a handful of nightlock they found earlier in their expedition... he knows vyn would be heart broken; but he doesn't have the heart to kill her... if he dies and she wins, she gets to live... and if he dies and she dies as well, they'll reunite in the after life.

and so, he takes in the berries, letting its poison seep down his throat as he tucks himself back into vyn's warm embrace one last time, for as long as his body stays warm enough for her not to notice

xuan waited for vyn to sleep and then maybe if he didn't take the sponsor's route - he'd ingest something poisonous (like nightlock), if he taken the sponsor's route, he'd try another means of suicide

vyn would've tried to interfere with xuan killing himself otherwise, but xuan didn't want to kill vyn, and vyn doesn't want to kill xuan. i think xuan knew that if he didn't kill her, she'd kill herself too, and quickly.

i think xuan would try to kill himself peacefully so he manages to get a sponsor to gift him something... and he manages to use it to kill himself, and vyn wakes up the next day finding xuan dead right beside her

kinda opposite of dangan au honestly, but still plausable so we're rolling with it

reading more from discord side and it's more of like, a fantasy and not an expressed "want" per se, xuan probably talks about a lot of things to vyn to make the idea of competing in the hunger games easier, even if it meant that there was a huge possibility vyn had to kill xuan to win.... but vyn could never bring herself to do that (considering canon vyn actions, she'd much rather hurt herself to get what she wants) so xuan resorts to killing himself

HOLY PEAK nirvana 🤤

oh stay safe 🙏

Discord side I did want to explicitly add a scene where when things die down, xuan mentions to vyn about wanting to start a family (even though they both knew only one person can make it out alive) and after vyn becomes victor she lives in a mansion in grief but suddenly an orphan (or two) is placed on her doorstep and she raises them because "they looked so much like xuan"