Small vent...because I need to...
Suicide
A funny word.
Actually...alright...it's serious...
...people all around the world...every day...give up...and..
...
...I think a lot, as some of you know.
I have dark thoughts.
I...I don't want to live anymore...but...
...I don't want to give up.
I give up on shit all the time...but...I...
...with my own existance and life...I can't.
Every day, I deal with the...conflict in my mind...
...'Does anything I've done matter?'
Will people remeber me 100 years ago?
Have I lived my life, yet?
Experienced everything a human can experience?
What are some things I have to live for?
What do I care about?
...after all the questions...all of the...thinking...self punishing..betraying...losing...
...giving up...
...I've realized something...that seems...somewhat important...or that it could be of importance...
...nothing I've doen really does matter
Not yet
No one will remember me 100 years from now...
...until I've done something...
I haven't lived my life yet...nor have I experienced everything a human being can...
...real love...happiness...a job...learning...living...
I have my family...my trustworthy friends...and so much more to live for...
...and I'm not ready to give up on my life...yet
I care about more than I let on...or...well...irl, anyway...
...on here, I let my feelings out ๐
...and...a question I've left unmentioned...
...how do my a rooms effect the mindsets and thoughts of my friends..?
I...I feel like..ever since I've befriended Toa...Shadow...and...even more...
...my venting...giving up, then changing my mind...going back in forth...pondering death...I...
...well, I've noticed things...
...you guys have convinced me that you care about me...which,all in all, is a hard thing to do...
...and...I feel like ever since I befriended you guys...you vented more...
..just...started caring for another person who seemed hopeless...trying to help...
...I'm sorry.
I don't know how many times I've said that...
...humph...quite a few, I believe...but...
...I'm still here.
On am.
Alive.
Okay.
And...I'm...I'm okay...
...I'm sorry, though...
...I'm also sorry about the last few months...I've been...horrible...
...and I know it's not just me that gives you stress or worries you...life is hard...
...but...take it from me..it gets easier, at some point...but it'll never stay that way
Anyway, yeah...sorry for venting ๐
I just...well, yeah
Had to get some thoughts out
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