ha ha

I'm so scared.

my....'partner' irl (with quotes because I'm honestly not sure if they still want to be with me or not. I don't fucking knowanymore) is taking another break :)

the first time we broke up was because they cheated on me.
the second was because they wanted a 'break' and they ended up breaking up with me. again.

now, they're doing the same thing. a 'break'. I'm scared they're gonna do it again.

but in all honesty, I'm not sure if I would be upset if they did. and I hate that I'm able to say that.

I mean, obviously I would be upset. I love them, I really do. I've never felt for a anyone in my life what I feel for them. they're very special to me. but I'm just so tired. of everything.

they always fuss about how important it is for me to communicate my feelings with them. which would be a good thing, if they didn't pressure it out of me. they always get upset if I don't tell them my feelings right away, even if I'm just. not able to talk about it at the moment. they still try and force it out of me.

but yet, when I need to know what's going on with them(which doesn't happen often, unlike them, I don't pull it out of them. I let them talk if they need to, and leave them be if they don't. I don't force them to talk), they only tell me things that make no sense. they give me a bunch of rambling that I can't understand, nor can I help, or even comment on. and then they seem upset when I can't answer. it's stressful. and it just makes me sad. a bit hurt. worried. just...a bunch of stress.

they say that they're doing this for everyone right now because they're having issues, but I am 100% certain I am going to see them tomorrow in their usual little group, far away from me, chatting it up. like always.

but it doesn't matter anymore. I'm tired of worrying. I'm tired of crying because of them.

but I don't want to lose them. and I could never leave them. so instead, I'm just going to sit here and continue to worry. waiting for them to get over things, or talk. or just...leave me again. like the pathetic little fool that I am.

they fucking promised. they promised me so many things, but the biggest thing was their promise to not leave me. at least for a while. but they have now left me twice, and if this goes as I'm expecting, it'll probably end up being 3 times.

I'm so fucking done.

1 years ago 18 views 1 frames

❤️Doctorbob2💙

Dude, ima give you some straight edvice, if there forcing it out of you like that, they probably don’t want to take there time and listen to what your really going threw they probably just want to get it done and over with and that’s not ok, the kinda shit that they’ve pulled (Based on what you wrote) isn’t ok, I’m not saying break up right here right now, but you should think it over, and see if you check this critical thing (It’s a list) they make you feel like any mistake you do is world ending, they make you feel like your walking on egg shells around them, you feel bad talking to them cause they push you out of your comfort zone, and they don’t really listen to what you want them to.
If some of those are true you need to talk it out with them, but if they lash out on you then, we’ll the choice is yours

1 years ago Reply