crow

yk sometimes

sometimes i get lost in my thoughts

like i’m sure everyone does at some point

.

but then i get comfortable there

and i don’t want to leave

and it gets me into a lot of trouble

.

they act like i do it on purpose

like i WANT to make these ignorant decisions

when i know how ignorant they are

like i’m just that stupid

.

maybe i am just that stupid

maybe i should be ashamed of myself

.

maybe it really is just my fault

but they’re wrong

i don’t like the adrenaline that comes with it

it makes me anxious

nauseous

my breathing picks up

i hate it

.

but yet

i still can’t stop myself

because once i get where i’m going

and i get that thing that i was thinking about

it’s just

pure serotonin

.

that serotonin

that’s what i’m after

that’s all

that happiness

that feeling i’ve never felt before

that feeling i can’t get anywhere else

that’s all

.

but i got it the wrong way

i got stuck in my thoughts

and it lead me the wrong way

it lead me into trouble

into bad decisions

.

i hate myself sometimes

but it’s okay

.

it’s just my thoughts

just thoughts

nothing more

.

.

.

anyway

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