crow

.

this is
gonna be my last
stupid vent-ish post for the night

ik this shift starts to get
rlly annoying after a while

so ill cut it out after this

but

.

everytime i have something that i enjoy

or someONE

that i enjoy being around

it gets ruined.

sometimes by others

most times by me

.

i dont mean to

but
i chase that happy feeling that these things or people give me

i *need* to feel that feeling

i cant feel it on my own

.

its sort of like a drug
yk?

and ill do
pretty much anything
to get my fill of that drug

without thinking

.

it gets me in trouble

and when i get in trouble for trying to get to one thing

i lose access to all of it

and then when i have no access to that happy drug

i cant help but get into even more trouble by rebeling to get back to it

.

i never think about the consequences of those sorts of things

not while its happening

i always think about it afterward

when its too late

and it fvcks with me

.

i lose all forms of happiness

because i just couldn’t help myself

i just *had* to chase that one thing

that i couldnt have.

.

and now im isolated

i dont even feel safe talking to the people i try to trust

.

all i can ever think about is how it will end

when it will end

how ill fvck it up

.

its so annoying

i hate it

.

.

alright

thats it

im sorry

im just tired and

feeling
things

haha

1 years ago   6 views   1 frames   1 Like

👍 Like

    Download

See all 4 comments