Random Evil Guy (□) idk felt like making quick random drawing... and venting too I guess
Man... I am not doing well mentally. I was perfectly fine a couple weeks ago, until I had a massive panic attack or something while trying to sleep and I realized the sheer terror that I'm going to die and I will not exist someday somehow garenteed. I am real and someday I won't be. I'm terrified. The word Terrified doesn't even express how scary it is. Death is a monster that is coming for you, you can run a little from it, but it will catch you. You can hide, but it will catch you. You can fight, but it's a monster that has a win rate of 100% I'd honestly rather burn in hell to infinitely than no longer exists. Death is the only thing I can thing about the past few weeks.
I feel like I can hardly enjoy things anymore because why does it matter if I will no longer exist. I just feel awful truly awful. I'm so glad I'm alive, that I managed to be the one brought to life out of infinite possible people. But in a bit of time I will simply fade away. I've been on games and YouTube constantly to escape the dread of it all but the moment I stop it all comes back. I'm honestly not sure if I feel worse then when I was depressed.
Well. Well that's my vent. I was thinking maybe talking about it might help a bit. Maybe maybe not.
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