i keep ignoring the fact that im ignoring everybody and im fixating and loving all over cleo when via is gofting me all these hings and loving me and wanting my attention and i im ignoring her and distracting myself and i cant she was my attention so bad but idk how to give it without sounding uninterested or dry and im always around cleo now and she said "what if you find someone better" and my reality shattered i cant tell what i love i cant tell anything im having a crisis but everyone im usually Around rn is offline i cant be codependent and a chronically online cry baby like everyone calls me at school i need to do things on my own but i just cant and i need the people i love to help me through it but i just cant im hurting via im hurting her and i dont feel anything to it like i dont care and it makes me feel like a monster because im always distracted and becoming addicted to vr and im playing with people and from me talking to her all the time and loving her turned to me talking around twice a day being distant i cant hold in my feelings anymore
i dont know if i love anybody but everybody gives me different feelings i just
i want to cry but i cant
i want to apologize vut i cant
im paralyzed in my own nightmare and i cant fo anything anymore
im just a dull emotionless husk of darknes that tries to love but i dont understand the concept of 'loce' but at the same time i feel im in love but i only get that feeling woth cleo and now i feel like im a monster and shit and oh my god i keep Messing everything up im self sabotaging myself
i just want to cry it all out but i have no body yo cry to

butthe thing is
is that the fact that i can be so happy around some of yall but then have this massive mood swing like now but have no emotions but at thr same time it feels like im gonna have a panic attack

im really just trying to say is that im broken and cant handle my own life and emotions and i need support but idk who to ask for that support

  rsraic8

Deranged Dumbass

And I'll always be dude you don't have to go through this alone
Besides I don't think I've been the one who best described how you were feeling lmao

3 months ago   Reply

  Deranged Dumbass

rsraic8

ah well you word it better that i could ever lol
thanks bro you've always been here for me

3 months ago   Reply (1)

  rsraic8

Going through emotional destabilization is something that can happen to anybody at any moment so it's completely understandable that, you may have a really hard time, to the point of almost falling into despair due to the doubts and to think you're some kind of soulless sociopath, but that's just your mind playing tricks on you.
Love is able to make you shift like a switch in an instant from feeling like on top of the world to think love simply isn't an option for you, and that are precisely the kind of thoughts against which you got to fight.
If you want to cry, cry, if you need to apologize, apologize, because about the thing of having a shoulder to rely on, don't worry because it's quite covered by this side, at least, by mine.
And if you want me to be really honest about your "being broken" statement Marcus, for being worrying for them like you are right now and having realized of you having that issue... that doesn't sound to me like being pretty much broken, just saying

3 months ago   Reply (1)

  ⋆.˚✮🩷𝐳𝐨𝐳𝐨🩷✮˚.⋆

Deranged Dumbass

Sigh
Alr

3 months ago   Reply

  Deranged Dumbass

⋆.˚✮🩷𝐳𝐨𝐳𝐨🩷✮˚.⋆

just
leave them be man
its not that big of a deal

3 months ago   Reply (1)

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