im sobbing like a baby

Im worth nothing if i cant make them smile
i worked my entire body for my mother
nobody but me was home, and mok was uome too
i kept running around and doing stuff for my mama
im so sore
i even stood out in teh freezing rain so mom wouldnt have to deal woth knocking on the door, since it yriggers her
im trying so hard to give mom what she never had when she was a kid
she never got lovr or good caring parents so km trying to be like that
but im always toold its not my responsibility

i know this sounds rlly dumb but
i feel like steven Universe
my emotions and feelings dont matter, and i just want everybody happy
i want my family to be happy again
but
im never gonna get that
because
dad is giving up
whenever dad is just in the room with my mom she starts yelling and screaming thats what caused her to throw the knife
i almost died bc dad callef mom
i hugged mydad when he got home because he was just standing thetr
he had so much on his mind he loked
so
souless
i just hugged him and bursted into tears
i cried and was si dhaky
and he said in a soft shaky voice like he was abt to cry
he told me he was proud of me and he thabked me for doing my best

no mayter how sick mom is
or dad is
or if it risks my life
im gonan make them feel at home and happy
no matter what
i dont care if it takes my life

i want my family happey again
i wanna be a little girl again
i want to see my family smile
i wanna see my sister smile
i dont want to see mom cry again
i fint wanna see yelling anymore

i dont want my dad to have to sleep on the cold garage floor again bc of mom being so upset
i dont want this
i want to go back where everything was better
i want to die
i wish that knife stabbef me