Flowers 💐 -by me

Flowers💐-by me
Your back at my front door,
With flowers willing to bloom this time,
Baby I don’t want them,
I don’t like lilies,

I still have these letters you wrote to me,
I’m still reading them,
I didn’t get past the first line,
I’m still listening to your voice narrate each letter seamlessly,
I can hear your laugh,
I can hear you..

You were all my maybes,
All my ifs,
All my buts,
All my possibilities,
Ur no good for Me,
But baby I want you,
Your fabric is getting trapped and ripped by thorns,
Why don’t you let go?
‘You want me to leave you?’
Yes..

You carried me around like a trophy,
U speak to me as if I am something extraordinary,
You flash around your face but you never show it,
You never get angry when you should but you get angry when I hate myself,
I held the key into your paradise,
You took it back,
Now I’m trying to cope with my self infliction,
I was decaying,
You slowed down my decay,
I did anything to get my way,
And you let me have it,
I like you heart,
I like how it weighs the same mass of gold,
I like how it’s heaviness holds u down to me,
You walk with such pride,
Such happiness,
So I took roses from u.

I shut your open paradise,
I took back my key,
I sat you down and taught you my speech,
I influenced your thoughts,
You fight more now,
But I haven’t taught u how to fight,
So stop throwing blows mindlessly,
Use your eyes to use their weaknesses,

But darling will you leave me for so long that age over takes your memories and u begin to decay?
Or when I become a mass murderer and I forget you all at once?
Or when you push you incompetence to such a state
The 3 words and 8 letters become
‘I hate you’.

Let me explain,
I know I’m not really sounding sane,
This isn’t heartbreak if I had no heart,
This isn’t heart break if barely threw the dart,
They say your coming back,
Habibi,
You did not decide to leave me,
We both know if it was your choice,
You would burn our veins and fuse our bloodstreams into a single river,
But nothing in life is your choice,
What happened to your pretty voice?
Know I did everything in my power to show how much I adored you,
Your name printed on my shirt for I cannot wear the shirt your wearing,
Our initials lie on my wrist,
Redone daily so it doesn’t fade away,

I miss you,
I miss your words,
I miss your blurred face,
I miss your striking voice,
I miss your reactions,
I miss your shock,
I miss your energy,
I miss everything you ‘finessed’,
I just miss u…

So stop sending me these flowers,
When you know I’m going to pick out the roses and vase them,
Stop sending me declarations of love,
When you know I’m going to cut out your insults and frame them,
You love me for my fury,
But baby boy you might be the next memory I bury.

So I’ll keep these flowers,
I’ll detach each petal,
I’ll discolour them,
Bleach them,
Burn them,
And scatter their ashes across our earth,
The earth you bought for me ,
The earth you danced on with me,
The earth you sang on for me,
But I never wanted the earth,
I never wanted a planet to share with you,
You wanted it,
So I let you have it,
I was happy lurking with the moons and stars ,
I was happy comparing your luminance to theirs,

I know you fell for me,
I would too,
But baby guess what,
I fell first and I fell harder ,
when I left you waited til I came back,
Now you left I will do the same,
And you say those words didn’t mean anything ,
If they are so weightless why bring it up?
Why say it if you know it’s gonna hurt me?
But nevertheless you sit clueless to what you say,
And what angers me,
You have no idea the amount of patience I have,
I sit and let u chastise me,
I sit and let u swear at me,
Just for you to say sorry,
Why say it in the first place,
I don’t like flowers anymore,
Keep your roses,
Keep ur lilies,
Keep your habiscus,
Tell me this isnt lust,
Tell me words you wouldn’t tell anyone else,
I want you to speak the language of poets,
I want you to interest yourself in my speech,
I want you to sing my words,
For poetry is a song left unsung.

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