Im so fucking done, everything i do results in failure, my friend ships my game status my fucking life, it all results in bullshit that i caused because im a fucking moron. I can’t ever win for shit, no one likes me except for a few people pulled in enough by my lies to actually like me and even then they will probably run away from me because every fucking body runs away from me. The monster i draw on this app is no different then who i fucking am and it makes me sick, im a tall skinny razor fanged monster that hurts people, even i hurt myself and yet it doesn’t aid the anger i have built up inside me. I feel like alien just trying to survive but the more and more blood i see the more i realized how fucked up the way im doing it is. I don’t want to be like this i never wanted to be someone you can look at and think “what an asshole,” no. I just want to go to sleep forever so that no one would ever be hurt by me ever again but then some people would be devastated by that so i have to keep going so that they can keep looking at their little boy trying to grow up in this fuck ass world and i hope they are proud of me because i sure am not. I throw things around the house and yell things at myself because i know if i don’t the outbursts will be so much worse, i don’t know what i am capable of yet and that scares me so much. With one simple punch to my face i am able to make myself bleed all over the sink and im fucking terrified by that i am literally a weapon, what do you think happens when a martial artist with a Brown belt looses their shit? I sure as fuck don’t want to find out. I want Zimick, he was the only one who knew how to choke down this monster i have churning in my insides, he was the only one who had a cure to my anger and my sadness. Everything made sense when we were together and i love him so much i don’t want to lose him, but now im not sure if he’ll ever come back to me and i don’t want to live in a world where Zimick doesn’t want to even talk to me. I was blinded by my surroundings that i didn’t even realize the light i had infront of me, sure he was different but i loved him so fucking much for that in ways that you couldn’t understand. I feel cold, like im trapped outside in the snow begging to be let in after i bit someone, i see what i did is wrong now so please let me in i don’t want to freeze out here anymore. I don’t even know whats going on in my life anymore, this shit is so crazy and so wild it makes my head hurt. I stay up till 3 in the morning and wake up hella late in the afternoon because i am sick of myself, i want to be up at night so no one is awake when they see me freak out or see me for who i truly am. Im such a moron to say what i did to Zimick and it makes me want to kill myself. I really am considering such right now, and i don’t want to.

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  theev@n

🍸• Roman_Martini • 🍸

Like I said man, I’m here for you..

5 months ago   Reply

  🍸• Roman_Martini • 🍸

theev@n

Thank you Thank you, Thank you.

5 months ago   Reply

  🍸• Roman_Martini • 🍸

theev@n

I probably won’t get off Animemaker because i don’t want to leave everybody, but im going to change now, we probably wont ever talk to eachother again but atleast he left me a note that showed me he was okay.

5 months ago   Reply

  🍸• Roman_Martini • 🍸

theev@n

Thank you so much Evan. This is exactly what i needed to hear, Zimick is okay now and he is in a better place, now i can pull my shit together and get myself to a better place too. I was breaking down because i didn’t know how hard i hit Zimick but now that i see it didn’t mess him up too much i can put myself at rest.

5 months ago   Reply (1)

  theev@n

This is it Roman the rest of Zimicks letter

5 months ago   Reply (3)

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