I guess i should explain this. I feel trapped, not like im being held in a cage but something keeps dragging me backward. I have kept it a secret on who i like, i always responded to people who told me “whats your type?” or “who are you interested in?” “No im asexual,” “i don’t have an interest in anyone,” i really do want to find someone to love and for them to love my back in a partner way but im still being held down by my past.

Im too scared that i might fuck it up again, what if i lash out at them and then they won’t want to be with me anymore? What if im still the same asshole i was when i was 13, or will that same 13 year old break out at some point through who i am now? I truly want to find a girlfriend but i can’t do it, i always tell myself that they will be scared of the scars covering my arms and my chest, or they will think i am mentally ill or broken somehow. I need someone, i feel so lost i need someone to help guide me. I don’t feel the same feelings i did years ago, maybe finding someone will make me feel these things again. But of course i don’t want to reach out because i feel they will be terrified of me.

I won’t let myself reach out for this stupid reason and it makes me want to hurt myself.

翻譯

  🍸• Roman_Martini • 🍸

Zimick 💙💛🩷

Thank you, let me plug in my phone and i’ll get on Disc

2 months ago   回复

  Zimick 💙💛🩷

Roman you aren’t as terrible as you think you are. You’ve grown so much from that little boy who I once knew. You’ve shown me how much you’ve grown. You aren’t a little boy anymore, you’re a man. And you have become so much better than the impulsive little boy you once were and I’m so proud of you growing so much.

You deserve to find love. You deserve to find your dream girl. You deserve all the kindness and care in the world. And I wish I could help show you it and keep you safe. Because I love you a lot, and seeing you suffer hurts me. Please talk to me on discord I have so much to tell you.

2 months ago   回复 (1)

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