i dont even remember how feeling happy feels like. i wanna hug, or just cry on someones shoulder and let them tell me nice things, telling me im doing everything right and giving me attention, love, respect. thats a silly thought because im just a dumb fuck. thats what ive been told. if i was just made for this stupid shit, then why would people tell me not to hang myself? why do they suddenly care when i want to kill myself so badly? that confuses me. whats the point of even trying to stay happy. whats the point if i try to make someone else happy and then get thrown away like garbage. im feeling so stressed right now, the only thing that makes me feel better is just harming myself because thats what people want me to do.