Ok at least I won't go through a period and there is the well 75 percent chance I could well actually have a purpose in life then just be alive and the muscle thing... Muscles hurt and skin is annoying as hell and there is the no eating thing I don't mind not eating actually I don't think I even want to eat anymore and the swimming I don't even like water and I say, pain makes me feel alive the more pain the more emotions I get to feel