First off: Brush your teeth.
You smell like hot dog water.
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are the human version of period cramps.
Feed your own ego. I'm busy.
Your face makes onions cry.
You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
You're the reason God created the middle finger.
You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
I'd rather change a baby's diaper than have lunch with you.
You have a face only a mother could love.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
You're impossible to underestimate.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.