You may try to find someone that may actually believes you since theres many or some that may actually listen and give some actual advice, Or interacting with you and having some talk about life and each others situation, Like a friend or a bestfriend, Finding people who you actually trust to give out what you actually feel or want will be crucial, But It is gonna be difficult to find a genuine friend that actually wants to help and interact with you alot, sorry if even your family you dont feel love for or respect, But i may just say, If that is what it may be, Then i dont quite know other than, Secret practice or actually trying to like it, But itll be absolutely difficult doing so. I believe in you.