It’s ok to be sad you don’t have to hold your emotions in ,cause if you do it will get worse,I was afraid to tell you this because I was scared it would make it worse but then I noticed that if you tell us how your feeling and why then it might make you feel better, you can let it out and put it on a hobby try telling your family and freinds how you feel. I know this because I experienced this pain before I wanted to hide it from everyone but then I noticed that I had freinds that were with me my whole life and are still there, alit of people care about you and so do I. I hope this helped and if it didn’t then I need to learn more about people and I’m sorry