i vented to my friend recently and she told me that the way I acted shows that I do hold some emotional feelings for people, but that alone doesn't make me feel better when people tell me "my heart's at the right place" or that i'm a "kind selfless person"

idk, does jt make me a good person because even if my intentions were to benefit and use, does the time and money i spent with my friends tell me that i care at least enough about people for them to see me as a good person?

maybe i'm gaslighting myself and telling myself if I did enough good deeds I'll give myself good karma, which it has.... but my intentions have usually began only to benefit myself

idk. i donate and do charitable stuff, but i don't know if I'm actually doing it because i care or is it because it will benefit me more in the future

idk. Maybe by human nature i choose to be good and put myself in a moral ground to be better than others, and that satisfies me enough knowing that my actions are just better

ugh this is really becoming my vent page but my friends know about my narcissist tendencies and yet they still choose to be near me and i dont know why

not to be cheesy or anything but i still feel like i'm doing a facade or what ever and yeah it's unhealthy but the bad thing is i don't know which one i really feel lol. some days i love everyone and other days i just want to close myself off and drive people away from me; idk. sometimes i feel bad about being mean but inherently most of my thoughts are true to myself..... idk, a lot of people tell me i'm kind. and i just dont know how to feel about it

genuinely though i love my friends 😞 i havent had a hateful thought towards any of my friends for over a year and it's been good they're angels idk how they put up with me

i also plan to sell the jewelry because i have a TON of excess supplies ;3 5~10 dollars for each piece.... seems reasonable

im struggling so hard though because they didnt have any one step loopers available so i'm having to loop every one by hand and it's time consuming but i love my friends, if i wanted to i COULD!!!

a boy like me just wants to make cute jewelry for friends 😞

😞i'm not delivering my best work here this is so booty

ugh. my arts usually sexy but this app is lagging so badly

my name is marius fuys btw did u guys know that Sometimes i refer to myseld as mari but u guys cant call me that lol only if i allow u to

also ft marius with ponytail again

i like to kmagine she has a glasses collection and picks out how she's feeling for today

naaaur ur hetting colonized by the french 😭😭😭

illness is takimg over u 😞😭 nawt genshin!!!!

hourglass, magny, tort and clip board are on team nxx
flower pot and candy are on team stellis

magny (magnifying glass) is luke
tort(illion) is marius (tot)
clip board is artem
flower pot is rosa