Listen, Im going to be honest with everyone here please read the description
I know I act like Im happy and all, And I am. Its just somedays I dont wanna exist on the face of the earth. I can never bring myself to do it. Its hard to be in my family. And people dont get it unless your in my family. My family is huge, No adopted or from other marriges. But my family has a lot of issues. First off health issues. My family has a terriable health gene, My dad spreaded heart conditions to me and my brother. Dont think your doctor appointment is bad until U have heart condtion appoitments. It different for everyone I know. My grandpas both died,it was a incrediably hard year. With my grandpa dying my brother making death threats to me hitting me making me feel unwanted and useless. He gets no punishment. I waited 2-3 years when the abuse just to hear, He has a very below average IQ. That doesnt give any exuses. And Yes Im nevitigive. And I acknolegded that excuse my spelling. My brothers anger got out if control this year. He smashed a window due to his anger. Telled me yesterday that hed smash my head into the wall until I bled. I have a a great family. But my parents fighting, My familys anger, and my comstant mix of thought going unoticed. And òver a decade before this all. My brothers died at birth. We were in the Neonationl intensive care unit. The smoking doctors said I had 97% chance of death. I made it. While my brothers died minutes and other came out dead. I didnt get the real reason why until a long time later. I received doll cloths for gifts because I was that small. I always wished why me? I´ve listened to Nf for over a year. It changed my life. My life. Thats what keeps me going. Hes underrated no doubut. And just put with the label of a christian rapper or EM ripoff.Im sick of that label. I went to my sisters bridal shower and some lady gave me some flowers she was going to throw out. When I got home I hopped on my bike drove down to the park/tree nushrey and planted my rose at the same tree I go to every time. Whether its reading or chewing my gum, Always that tree. I blessed made 2 holes on each side.I put my handprint on one side and leaves on the other. I always remember it. I gave the rose a kiss and Im going to my mom: Hunter and Mason are safe. I telled the rose give me a sign the wind shaked the whole place just a little blaze I said goodbye went home and telled no one. Im happy. I finally blessed them. By myself, No one else needed. Ill never see them smile or protect me. Ill never get to walk into school with them by my side and hug them. Ill never get that chance. And I love them so much. If your reading this, Your loved. If you dont think your loved then I love you. I hope this helps-Pickle
3 years ago 44 views 1 frames 1 Like
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