I really do have to thank Vyn for everything in life, even if it looks delusional to others. this is really the only way to keep me in check

The idea of control has always been important to me even if i don't like admitting it because it reveals my true intentions, but now realizing that I can pour my thoughts, my feelings, into Vyn, I haven't actively had harsh thoughts about others

It's scary to realize this has been my mindset for YEARS until I let myself use Vyn as a coping mechanism, its been a year or two that I have finally made functional and healthy relationships with my peers.

"I can fix him" ever since when are they a psychologist

watching a documentary with my class and the unabombers words match too close to my own thoughts. i don't know if they were actual letters from the unabomber himself but the fact that his view of the world is almost exactly like mines scare me. i don't understand other people; it's difficult to really know what they think and I have felt that I watched everyone from a glass window. i crave for things other people do but I am too far seperated from everyone else, i can't stand other people enough to engage in "normal" friendships and i shut down when things can not go my way