Sorry if i just say this since its literally my perspective, But that kind of doesnt align to why you think you will hurt em.. Ill be sleeping now.

Because i know they have some care for me

mm... Why do you think you will hurt them?..

Mhm, Good to know, There are different viewpoints to this, But you may tell me what are those moments where you hate your very being?, Is it when you hurt someone else or something close to that?, Thats good, Since it can be an absolute nightmare to even keep it holded. But sometimes it isnt enough indeed, But what do you think will be enough of a help for you?.

In a few sentences i kinda like opened up to how i feel yes i also do have some self love for me
I care about me to a good extent but in times of panic or stress i get to myself and i do have a lot of moments like that where i just dont want to live with myself. I have moments where i love myself but moments where i hate my every being.
And i know that is normal i just dont like to talk abt it with people cause it drives out more hate towards myself, when i go into to much it just fucks me up so i avoid those situations until im okay enough to talk abt them, i have a therapist and hes helpful but not always can professional help always be enough