Not wanting to be here anymore is missing out the one thing, Or many things that you could and can achieve, Also many beautiful aspects in life that changes a literal maniac to something less of what they used to be, I for myself used to be a depresso lesso, But got past that, Still i wonder about what i do and what i should do, And how to actually solve my problems, Of course i cant do it alone myself, Well most, But some i actually can, But its really difficult doing so.
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In a few sentences i kinda like opened up to how i feel yes i also do have some self love for me
I care about me to a good extent but in times of panic or stress i get to myself and i do have a lot of moments like that where i just dont want to live with myself. I have moments where i love myself but moments where i hate my every being.
And i know that is normal i just dont like to talk abt it with people cause it drives out more hate towards myself, when i go into to much it just fucks me up so i avoid those situations until im okay enough to talk abt them, i have a therapist and hes helpful but not always can professional help always be enough
You dont really need to be sorry for letting out what youve been holding back on, Its very good that you let it out rather than keeping it hidden and let it further damage you, Also note that, Everyday a person suffers, But a person also Joyous, Each day will be different to each person, That joyous person may realize something that may cause him to suffer or experience something to suffer, But the suffering person can realize or experience something that may change them to Slightly better but not literally joyous, Can be happy for a person or can be Absolutely detrimentally terrible and having thoughts of suicide on their mind always..
You may tell us more as were here to help. Sorry for the late reply.. I just yeah.