Time had been going too fast for me.

Everyday feels SOOOO short. What would be An hour as a little kid, feels like a day for me. The day is over before I realize and I can't do what I wanted to do that day. My last art TOOK OVER A MONTH wtf. Art I made 100 days ago feel like I made them a Month ago. Just time is so fast. On the plus side of things I actually feel motivated to draw. I haven't had motivation to draw in a while.
Also there's one more thing I'm gonna say,
I think i had (maybe still have) deppresion. I do t know when it started but i think maybe around year ago? It was more of a existential crisis on steroids + deppression. The existential crisis on steriods part is gone now which im glad. The deppression was on and off most days and hours i had it, especially during night. I had thougts of S but i never accually really wanted to do it. I felt like i was going insane. I could not cry. One of my family members passed away, i felt VERY sad, but i wouldnt cry. I had to try to cry to cry. I think i probably dont have it anymore, it has been happening alot less. One of the reason why i really held back from S is my oldest freind i really remember, did it. There where even signs, he gave plenty of signs. He was giving away stuff to me. He broke his sisters leg. He was in meds he probbaly didnt need. He was hurting, and it was obvious, yet we did not see.

Sorry for getting so personal, will probably delete this later.