you can dog me for this shit all you want, I deserve it. just please don't tell anyone about any of this. I feel horrible for being upset over nothing. and I'm not mad at you, I swear. I'm more mad at myself than anything.

and the other little things are mainly just me being jealous of you. I hate it but I can't control it. I refuse to say why exactly I'm jealous of you because it's ridiculous, but I am.

the only thing that you really did that kind of made me upset with you was something incredibly stupid that, again, it's nothing I should have been upset about. but using the nicknames that I gave people. it's dumb and I'm sorry, but every time I would give someone a nickname, you would take it and start using it all the time. like, I called zimick db. then you started calling him db all the time. then I changed it to z because of that, now he's z to you as well. or fireboy for pyro. I think the only reason it made me upset was because nicknames are my way of showing affection to people. it's stupid. I'm stupid. and I'm sorry for being upset over such insignificant things.

I just need to explain something.

yes, you are the person I was talking about. but do not say that I hate you. I don't. it's just innocent things that you've done that have bothered me because I have a problem. none of the things you've done are actually bad. i just can't help it.

you know zimick? I really liked him. like, I really fucking liked him. he helped me through some deep shit, and I caught ridiculous feelings for him. obviously you didn't know, which is why I said the things you did weren't actually bad. you did nothing wrong. even if you did know, you got there first and I really had no right to be upset. but I can't fucking help it. and then, when I tried to subtly explain to him why I was so upset before, it went completely over his head. which, again, I'd nothing for me to be upset over. I'm not mad at you, or z, I'm just. upset in general. not with you.