I understand that feeling
I notice I miss a lot of vents so I'm not gonna keep doing what I have been and respond anyway, letting you know I'm here too. I've hurt my friends unintentionally as well, but, my closest ones didn't give up on me, because they know it wasn't on purpose. Emotions are a big part of being human, and no one can blame you for feeling a certain way. I was forced into therapy because I wouldn't share my emotions at first, so it's better not to hide behind a mask. But, it's also okay to have some alone time too, don't feel the need to share all the time.
I hope you're feeling better.