im afraid. thats why. i dont want to go through the loop again for the 5th time. I don't mean anything I do. I apologized and i understand you dont forgive me, thats okay, but like, man i just want to be able to live like a normal person, i want to be normal, but nobody is telling me what im doing wrong. cleo never advocated, told me anything, and i was scared i was hurting her, and apparently, i did. she never told me, so my fears were true. Nobody ever told me anything, so i never understood. im really trying