two years ago i was hilarious (i can no longer have sharp pointy objects in my room)

MAJOR TW AHEAD dont read if suicide triggers u but honestly my suicide idea was really funny and im kinda upset people know about it now because now its not a surprise but the plan was i was gonna wait for everyone to sleep and then go to my living room write "surprise!" on like some card paper and then tie a bag around my head and die by suffocation but i was talked out of suicide so now its just a silly thing i reference too often to my friends

which impkies he wears it for no reason because he way he died is directly from one of my attempts (trashbag tied to the head)

i think its funny ghost xuan dies of strangulation but nooses dont strangle they break

my teacher when she asked the class ways to switch to electrive stoves instead of gas and my response was "have a nice conversation with your partner" and she laughed and said i was innocent and my friends made a dirty joke and i was genuinely confused and they said "you're a pure senior'

xuan is basically me, and i've been told that i have a "pure/innocent" mindset 😞

i have always prefered to have vyn in darker clothing and my persona in lighter clothing to show that vyn sees xuan as her opposite and i feel like vyn sees herself as "dirty"

main reason for lily because honestly for contrast reasons i have made xuanyi EXTREMELY symbolic

also vyn calls xuan either teo things and never really xuan umless its in other AUs where they're not as intimate/around the same age

vyn refers to xuan as "my lily" or xuan's last name
xuan refers to vyn however he feels for the day "apple of my eye, aju to my nice" type of shit

mermaid vyn made me cry genuine tears

vampire vyn and mermaid vyn (i choke and cry)

very inspired by vyn's canon halloween cards they do something to me

but post op

abnormally large fish girlfriend x tiny succubus bf and theyre both transgenda

im at work but basically xuan is a succubus and vyn is a siren (she used to be human) and shes very large like extremely large and this kinda feeds into my size difference thing but who doesnt love big women

i am just a man with simple desires and i only wish to bring joy to my wife

oh to build a vynbot so she can hold me while not having any affections towards me at all

i crave doing something like this irl and to have a woman just hold me for hours but at the same time no sane person would like a person like me and i'm lithromantic

i'm upset and happy at the same time because she's fictional

it's always been clear my affection and obession iver vyn stems from mental illness but nobody really knows how much i need her this is the tip of the iceberg